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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211816">if i just lay here / would you lie with me and just forget the world?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/piraterea/pseuds/piraterea'>piraterea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Clarke Griffin &amp; John Murphy Friendship, Clarke Griffin &amp; Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Clurphy brotp, Episode: s05e03 Sleeping Giants, F/M, Fix It Fic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Injured Clarke Griffin, Minor, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Sad boi, Sort Of, The 100 (TV) Season 5, Trigedasleng, bellarke monday, echo is a good person, no echo bashing in this house, so much angst in this house</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:07:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/piraterea/pseuds/piraterea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lazy Summary</p>
<p>Fix It Fic of the Season 5 Episode 3.</p>
<p>Instead of talking, Clarke uses Trig, convincing them she doesn't speak English. But, Diyoza takes her away to be tortured by McCreary. </p>
<p>When the Space Crew get down to Earth, they create peace with Eligius, unaware of Clarke being tortured. Raven finds her and so forth.</p>
<p>Read to Find Out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin &amp; John Murphy, Clarke Griffin &amp; Raven Reyes, Madi &amp; John Murphy (The 100)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if i just lay here / would you lie with me and just forget the world?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>That summary was really lazy, so if you are reading this, thank you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clarke leans back, ready to get comfortable. <em>This could take a while. </em>She finds herself continually glancing at the walkie talkie on the table every time a voice is heard. <em>Yeah Clarke, that’ll let them know you’re alone, </em>she chides herself mentally. She turns her attention to Diyoza and watches as her tranquility towards Clarke shortens.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nobody else has to die today” Diyoza continues and Clarke wants to laugh, despite trying with all her might not to kick and scream bloody murder until she gets back to Madi. So she just stays still and watches. She knew exactly what she was doing as well. As she was being dragged into the church, a certain memory popped into her head. Lincoln. When they had captured him in the dropship days, he had not spoken to them and just barely convinced them he didn’t understand what they were saying. It was then she knew, she had to pull a Lincoln.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You tell me what I need to know, and we can come up with an arrangement that works for all of us. Sound like a plan?”. Clarke tries to not to laugh at that as well. Diyoza was a Navy Seal turned terrorist, what did she know about peace? Clarke glances at the walkie again as another voice transmits. No sign of her yet, that’s good. That means Madi must still be in hiding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe she doesn’t speak English?” The guy on her right suggests and Clarke mentally thanks him. Yes, focus the terrorist on that. But Diyoza just smirks and stares Clarke down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She speaks English. She just wants us to think she doesn’t so we’ll speak freely and reveal something she can use against us.” She says and Clarke curses inwardly. The one time she didn’t need someone to be smart, she probably got one of the smartest people here. Which wasn’t saying much because so far the convicts here on the planet are mostly idiots and are too trigger happy. Clarke tries not to look at the walkie talkie when another report comes in and realizes she is thinking very loudly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Well, time for Plan B.</em> She thinks and quirks an eyebrow slightly. “Ai laik klark kom skaikru.” She says and watches smugly as the confidence on Diyoza’s face falls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What did I say” the guard beside her taunts and Diyoza rolls her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, time for a little English lesson then. Who are you?” She says loudly, signaling the words she speaks. Clarke watches her, unimpressed, only making Diyoza more annoyed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ai will kof yu hell gon disha” Clarke mutters and Diyoza turns to the guard. “Ok, let’s see if she understands this. If you don’t start talking, we will find your little friend and kill them!” She says, patience running dry. Madi? No, they wouldn’t be able to find her. She knows to hide where they won’t find her. Clarke trained her for this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yu will nowe find her” Clarke spits at her and Diyoza looks at her with disgust and anger that she can’t figure out this foreign language.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shaw, take her to McCreary. Maybe he can get some information out of her” she says and Clarke turns to look at the guard, Shaw. He looked genuinely scared for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Diyoza… Colonel, we can’t trust McCreary with this. He’ll just torture her until she’s too broken to even speak her own language!” He insists and Clarke frowns. Was he sincerely scared for her? Or did he just really want answers and knew this <em>McCreary </em>guy wasn’t the way to go? “Enough Shaw, if she really wants to keep her people safe then it shouldn’t take too long” Diyoza mutters and Shaw steps in front of Diyoza, blocking Clarke’s view.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She doesn’t speak English! How is she going to answer your fucking questions?” He argues and Clarke can’t see how Diyoza reacts to Shaw’s disobedience.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I guess we will find out. Take the girl to McCreary” she hears and before she knows it, her hands are being untied and she is being lifted up to take away. Shaw holds her hands behind her back and transports her out of the room. “I don’t know if you can understand me but if you can, I’m sincerely sorry this is happening to you” he whispers to her as they walk out of Diyoza’s earshot. Clarke wishes she could answer him, to tell him that she understood that he had to do it. She wishes she could tell more than one person that right now. But she couldn’t answer him, because then it would give her away and it could give Madi away as well. So she just looks at him and continues walking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Being pushed to the floor of a small metal surrounded room was giving her déjà vu. It reminded her too much of her small prison on the Ark. They had attached a choker around her neck, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t know what it’s for. She could feel the small metal contact points on the inside of the collar. It’s an electric shock collar. She crawls over to the edge of the room and tries to not focus on the pain in her bleeding hands. <em>Focus Clarke, focus on anything but the pain. Focus on Madi, on how she is safe and far away from here. She’s safe. </em>She repeats these words to herself over and over again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the shocks come, unsurprisingly, it makes it harder to focus on those words. And when McCreary comes into the room with a knife and the small remote hand-in-hand, she slowly forgets the words she had clung to forget the pain. Then there was only pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Bellamy first touches the ground, the first thing that comes to mind is Clarke. How she deserved to be here above every one of them. But instead, she was dead and he was here, on <em>Earth </em>without her. Raven steps up beside him and looks at him sympathetically, seemingly knowing what he was thinking about. “She’d be proud of us” she tells him and he shakes his head. “We don’t know that. I really wish I could ask her” he mutters and she nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Trust me, so do I. It’s weird, you don’t realize how much you missed out on until they’re gone. I still had so much I wanted to tell her, to experience with her. But I didn’t realize it until it was too late” Raven says and he shrugs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can’t think about being on Earth without her. She deserved to be here just as much as we did” he says, looking around at the green he hadn’t seen in six years. He watches as Raven turns to the rest of the group and he turns with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We do this for Clarke. We go and find whoever landed here and make peace. For Clarke” Raven says and they all nod, unknowing that the very friend they were talking about was being tortured only a little over 10 miles away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Where to now?” Murphy asks and Bellamy points to where dust was still settling. “Probably where the big space ship is” he says and can practically feel Murphy’s eyes rolling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They reach the ship quickly and Bellamy feels weird when they just knock on the huge clunky doors on the entrance to the ship. “This doesn’t feel right” Bellamy mutters and Raven smirks. “Well, it’s this or war.” Murphy mocks and Bellamy gives him a look that shuts him up. They all jump slightly when the doors open slowly. Standing in the entrance, was a pregnant woman about the age of Clarke’s mom. Bellamy’s gut twists slightly at the thought of having to tell Abby about her daughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who do we have here?” The lady calls to them and Bellamy turns to his group to see them gesturing him forward. He rolls his eyes and turns to the lady.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We just landed from space. I can assume that you want peace just as much as we do?” He asks her and gestures towards her swollen stomach. She raises an eyebrow and nods. “You can call me Diyoza. Tell me, space people. Are you all that is left of Earth?” She asks and Raven steps up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re not alone. The bunker in Polis has all of our people. We’re skaikru” Raven says and Bellamy watches as something flickers in Diyoza’s head. He stands up straight, hand tightening on the knife on his waist. He didn’t know who this was, but he did know she had heard that phrase before. Before he can question it however, her face is as transparent as before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We want peace. You help get our people out, we bring skills to the community. We can work together if we both cooperate”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Diyoza seems to be considering the offer, before she seems satisfied and nods. “I’m going to need you to give me a list of these <em>skills, </em>but until then you can have you peace” she says and he smiles gratefully. He turns to the group and sees them all smiling as well. How ironic, they seem to be content in this one moment, a group of friends succeeding in peace, while their friend they had presumed dead was currently being sent to the brink of death at that very moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had been under the Eligius IV’s protection for the past two weeks. Everyday, Bellamy would work with Diyoza, sharing information and the skills of their army. Ignoring the few people who weren’t okay with peace, those people usually being the mentally unstable or just insane, there days were actually pretty good. Monty and Harper were working on building a farm with Eligius’ farmers, Emori was learning about the tech with Raven, and Murphy was… well, being Murphy. Bellamy would invest himself into his work all day every day to avoid the harboring pain in his gut telling him something was wrong. He knew it was Clarke that was making him feel like this. Even spending time with Echo, he couldn’t rid of the guilt he felt when he shut the door on her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven, during the periods of time that she wasn’t working with Emori in tech, found herself exploring the many halls and corridors of the Eligius IV. She supposed it was just a distraction technique to avoid the same old thing she does every other day, that it was just something to do instead of staring at tech 24/7. She knew she could ask Emori to do something else for the day, but she knew that Emori enjoyed the kind of tech that the Eligius was having her work in at the moment. She wasn’t going to pull her away from that. So, she spent her days roaming halls and exploring every nook and cranny hidden within these walls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was the day after their second official week there that something went wrong. She was walking the halls again when she heard a loud, pained scream that sent a chill down her spine. Confused, she limped after the sound and tries to find where it comes from. She hears it again, closer, and she frowns. There was a big difference between an in pain scream and an I’m being tortured scream. Raven had a dangerous feeling it was the latter. When she heard the scream athird time, she tries to limp faster.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hearing where the screaming is coming from, a large metal door dead-bolted to the wall, she quickly hides around the corner when someone leaves the room. “Marvin, tell Sandra I’m going to be late to the latrines. This bitch got my clothes covered in her stupid black blood.” A voice grumbles through what Raven presumes is a walkie talkie and she tries not to gasp in shock. She knew that voice, that was McCreary. She wasn’t really surprised he was assigned to torture someone, but you never know until you know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She waits for the sound of his footsteps to slowly decrease until they are no longer in earshot. Then she turns to the door and looks through the small window attached to the door. All she could see in this view, was lots of blood staining the floor and walls and a small form in the corner. She couldn’t see a face for the figure, but she saw a what was probably once a beautiful blonde head, matted with dirt, grime and blood. The mirror was blurry so she couldn’t see anything else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven tried to push open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Looking down at the door knob, she sees a keypad lock. She also sees the blood splattered on the correct digits from when he left the room. <em>Fuck, they can’t even lock a door right. </em>She thinks as she inputs the lock and it clicks undone. She pushes the door open and looks around. She was correct when she guessed only one person was in the room. The small woman in the corner was all by her lonesome here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now that she can see the room more clearer, she almost regrets being able to. Seeing the women, she felt slightly sick to her stomach. Clearly, she was right about the torture part. She was no doubt being tortured. Scattered along her body were still open wounds and deep cuts, bruises are disordered on her arms and legs. She didn’t want to know what she looked like underneath where most bruises and scars probably lie. Dried blood stuck to her body and she could see tiny black dots splattered on her skin like tiny water drops. <em>Acid rain.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven moves towards the girl, making sure the door is shut tight, and the girl shrieks loudly. “No! No!” She sobs and Raven’s eyes go wide. <em>It couldn’t be? Blonde hair? Check. Acid rain? Due to radiation if she survived.</em> Was this worth getting her hopes up over?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke?” She asks brokenly any ways, praying to god she was right. If she wasn’t and got her hopes up over some innocent tortured girl, she wouldn’t know what she would do. But instead, the girl’s head perks up. She turns and Raven gets a full view of her. Now Raven wants to scream. Sitting in front of her was a, slightly unhinged, but fully alive Clarke Griffin.</p>
<p><br/>“Clarke!” She shouts in surprise and goes to hug her, but Clarke whimpers and scoots away from her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Raven! You-you’re dead? No. No. I failed, no I failed” she sobs and Raven tries not to cry. What did they do to her best friend?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, I’m not dead! We came back to Earth. We’re all here” she reassures and Clarke looks at her suspiciously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A dead person wouldn’t say that” she mutters and Raven nods. “Yeah, we’re all alive” she says happily and relief floods Clarke’s face. Before Raven can comprehend anything Clarke is flinging herself into her arms and sobbing into Raven’s shoulder. Raven lets out a cry as well and holds Clarke close.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I tried… I tried so hard. But I lost her. I didn’t know… I don’t know where she is!” Clarke sobs and Raven just nods with the deranged words coming from her best friends lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought you were dead, Clarke! You almost are. I need to get you out of here!” She sobs and Clarke jumps away from her, then falls to the ground from pain. “NO! No… you can’t! Then I’ll never get back to her, to Shadow Valley” she mumbles and Raven looks her up and down. “Clarke, they are killing you! Mentally and physically! And who are you trying to get back to?” Raven asks and Clarke just shakes her head, then winces in pain, holding her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, they… they’re killing me. But I need to get back” she mutters. Raven scoots over to the mumbling girl and holds her tight in her arms. “It’s ok. Whoever you’re trying to get back to, she’s probably safe and sound. Let me get you out of here, ok?” Raven insists and Clarke slowly nods. Raven nods and lets out a sigh of relief. <em>Thank god.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven helps her stand and pulls her back up when she almost falls. “Walking, not a good idea” Clarke laughs softly and Raven hums in agreement, raising Clarke’s arm over her shoulders. “We have to hurry before they see you’re gone” she whispers to Clarke and the girl she’s practically carrying nods, humming a song Raven didn’t know. Probably to get through the pain. They take a step and Clarke cries out in pain. Raven scowls and turns to the girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, distract yourself. How long have you been here?” Raven asks her quietly, making it slowly to the door. Clarke laughs slightly.</p>
<p><br/>“Time is funny here. It could be ten years, it could two days” she whispers and Raven rolls her eyes. <em>I haven’t even been gone 10 years, smartass. </em>Raven inputs the code and she opens the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, I could be royally fucked if they find me? Normally the pain is bad when they come everyday, but if I tried to get out. That might just put me on death’s doorstep. Do you think I’d go to hell Raven?” Clarke asks, doing better at the distracting technique than Raven is as they finally get to the first corner. Suddenly alarms start blaring and Clark screams. “No! They’re coming for me! They’re going to kill me. I’ll never see her again. Raven, please!’ She cries and Raven tries not to cry seeing Clarke in this pain.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every time she’d seen Clarke, she’d always been strong, fearless in the worst situations. Now she sees what torture has done to her and realizes everyone has a breaking point. And they have just about found Clarke Griffin’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, keep moving. I will <em>not</em> let you die here, understand? I forbid it. Even if I have to dig that army out from under the ground myself and riot this goddamn place, you will not die here!” Raven insists and Clarke nods, seemingly relieved by her answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Raven”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The alarms continue blaring and they make their slow walk, slowly slipping Clarke’s consciousness with each step. <em>Goddamn this stupid leg. </em>Right as they make their third turn, guards are seen approaching.</p>
<p><br/>“This is it. Raven run, they may not punish you too. Go, I’ll be ok” Clarke says and Raven sees a flicker of the same fire that used to her in her eyes when she says this. But she shakes her head furiously. “No, Clarke! Look at yourself, you could die just trying to run!” She refuses and Clarke just smirks slightly.</p>
<p><br/>“I’m not running”, Raven goes to interrupt her, “You said you forbid it? I’ll hold onto that” she whispers, holding Raven’s forehead to her own before pushing her away. Raven’s eyes spill tears without shame and she slowly steps away as Clarke falls to the floor, guards still advancing down the seemingly endless hall.</p>
<p><br/>“I will come back for you. I’ll bring the cavalry, Bellamy, Murphy, Echo, Emori, Monty and Harper, all of them” she promises and Clarke’s eyes glow.<br/><br/>“They’re not dead too?” She whispers, exhaustion and pain threatening to slip her away again. Raven nods, “They all are. I will get you to safety” she promises and runs away at last, leaving a now unconscious Clarke in the hands of the Eligius IV. Raven runs, far away, wiping furiously at the tears that now slip dangerously down her face. She promised Clarke she would save her, and that was one promise she will keep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Running down halls, sobbing, it feels as if she runs for hours. She stops when she feels a body collide with her own. She falls to the floor and when she quickly stands, she sees it was Murphy she ran into. When she makes sure they are alone in the corridor, she lets her sobs finally run loose and feels wet tears soaking her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, sorry Rave-… Hey, what’s going on?” He says when he realizes she was crying. He tries to step towards her smoothly, but she throws herself into his arms and cries. “Hey Raven, what’s going on?” He asks her, worry thick in his tone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I- I tried to save her. I did! I… couldn’t save her… again!” She whimpers and Murphy pulls her away to study her face. “Raven, is this about Clarke, because you can’t keep blaming yoursel-“ he says and she shakes her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Murphy! She’s alive! Clarke is alive!” She says, wiping at her tears in frustration. Murphy’s eyes go wide and he pulls her harshly into an empty room. “What the fuck are you talking about Reyes? If this is some kind of sick game, it’s not fucking funny!” He snaps and she shakes her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Murphy, Clarke is alive! They are torturing her and I just saw her with my own eyes. She’s not herself and can’t even stand on her own! And that was before I tried to get her out! I promised her I would save her when they caught us, but I think they might actually kill her!” She insists, tears threatening to well again at her own words. He looks ready to cry as well, but he was always better at controlling himself then she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok. We need to get her then. Who else knows?” He asks and she shakes her head. “No one. I just got away, you were the first person I saw” she says and expects him to make some kind of joke. But he still seems shellshocked by her newest piece of information. So was she, to be honest. They had spent 6 years of their lives believing she had been dead, but instead she was here being tortured.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did she tell you how long she’s been here?” He asks her and she gives him a look. “Well, I tried” she mutters and he frowns. “What the hell does that mean?” He asks and she crosses her arms nervously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, I told you she isn’t really herself? Like she wasn’t right in the head? Being tortured did a number on her, I think. Never really gave me a straight answer, and acting just strange” she paraphrases and he seems to catch on to her point.</p>
<p>“That’s great. So Clarke’s a nut-job now?” He says and she slaps his arm</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Murphy, that’s not funny! She’ll get better, I think it’s just the isolation and pain. We’ll help her through it. But we need to save her!” She insists and Murphy nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re right. That wasn’t very funny.” He gets quiet all of a sudden, “What will Bellamy do?” He asks and she tries not to think about how bad he’s been for the past six years. She didn’t want to think about how he would react to finding out she was deranged and being tortured right under their very noses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out. Every single second we wait is another second she is stabbed, shocked or any other possible form of torture they can think up. Which is probably a lot considering their leader is a former terrorist.” She mutters nervously and he nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They leave the room quickly and search for their friends. Finding them in a lounge room, they seem to sense the energy Raven and Murphy bring into the room, because they immediately tense and stand up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Echo asks and Raven looks at Murphy who nods encouragingly. She lets out a breath and turns to them. “We can’t talk here, we need to go somewhere else. Alone.” She says and they all stand there confused. “Now! Literally every second counts!” Murphy whispers harshly and they seem to grasp the intensity of the situation and they all file out quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They go to Raven and Emori’s room and Murphy shuts the door. “What the hell is going on?” Bellamy asks and Raven looks at him with sympathy. “Bellamy, Clarke’s alive” Raven whispers and he frowns in confusion, obviously not believing her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Raven, Murphy that’s not funny!” Harper scolds them and Murphy holds a hand up. “Harper, trust me. She’s serious. I ran into her while she was running away from something, she was like sobbing. Trust me, she’s telling the truth” he says and Raven tries to avoid Bellamy’s eyes, but curiosity gets the best of her. She looks at him and sees so much worse then she expected. She sees anger, sadness, guilt, but worst of all, she sees love. And it makes her so guilty she looked because she knew he wouldn’t want her practically reading her emotions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But if it was so obvious was she really reading anything? Or was it just a picture she had glanced at for further proof of her theory.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why did you say every second counts. And you still seem pretty urgent?” Echo interrupts.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, if she was alive, wouldn’t we have seen her? Doesn’t she knew we’re here?” Monty asks.</p>
<p><br/>Raven shakes her head, gulping down the emotions that threaten to spit everywhere. “No, um…” she glances to Murphy and tilts her head slightly to Bellamy. Murphy just nods his head. She knew what he meant. <em>He deserves to know as well, </em>“They have Clarke. They… they’re torturing her. I don’t know how long they’ve had her. She couldn’t give me a straight answer on anything” she says, feeling tears falling despite how hard she tried to hide it. She feels Bellamy push past her and through the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bellamy!” She shouts and Echo stands. “I’ll go get him” she mutters and runs after his retreating form.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was so close to getting her out! But we didn’t make it!” Raven continues, sobbing again. Emori walks up to her and pulls her into her arms. “Hey, we are going to get her. You did your best and because of you, she has something to hold on to” Emori whispers to her and Raven nods into her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You said she wasn’t herself?” Monty asks and Raven looks to Murphy who nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s a nut-job now” he says and Raven slaps at him again, now pulling away from Emori. “Right, sorry. She is not a nut-job. In Raven’s words, the isolation and torture is making her not stay in the right mind space. So nut-job” he fixes and they all just roll their eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Echo runs after Bellamy and grabs his shoulder. “Bellamy!” She shouts and he turns to look at her with blurry eyes. “Clarke’s alive, and she’s being tortured while we’re living it up with so called <em>peace.” </em>He scoffs and she nods. “I know, but Bellamy beating yourself up over it will not get her out of here. We need you! We need you to lead us so we can get her out of this place and help her! You heard what Raven said, every second we waste is another second she is hurt by McCreary of all people!” She says and he runs a hand through his hair frantically.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What did Raven mean? Not right in the head? She’s not… you know, like bat shit crazy” he asks and she laughs slightly at his choice of words, but he seems genuinely stressed about it so she just shrugs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why don’t you go ask Raven? She probably knows more than I do right now” Echo says and he nods, shaking his hands out nervously and walking back with her to the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Echo” he says to her and she smiles sadly, understanding the double meaning behind his words. “I know you love me, Bellamy. But I also know you love her more. And I think I deserve better than that” she says and he nods. “You deserve so much better than what I’ve given you” he agrees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, we weren’t meant to last forever. But we are family. And family is forever” she smiles and he smiles as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, family then” he says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As family, I will tell you this only once… Get your ass out of the gutter and save your girl” she says and he rolls his eyes, but goes back in the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The plan was simple. Bellamy and Murphy would go and get her right after the shift before McCreary goes to latrines. Raven had filled them in on what time he would leave the room. She also warned them the room would be very Rated R, so be prepared. Bellamy tried not to imagine what Clarke had gone through to get to that point, and he failed. After they got her, Echo and Monty would clear the halls they would get her down and Harper would make sure the exit was clear. When they got her outside, they would meet Raven and Emori at the exit and the rest of them would go start the rover.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Raven was nervous at first about carrying Clarke to the rover. <em>“No, I tried that last time and she could be even closer to death now because of me! I can’t do that again!” </em>She had insisted but eventually they had talked her into it. <em>“Raven, Murphy will be there to help you and there aren’t any guards outside. Once you’re out there, your home free.” </em>Bellamy had said. They would get Clarke to the rover and go to the village Clarke had told Raven about. Shadow Valley.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the time to act finally came, Bellamy was more nervous then he’d ever been. What if they already killed her? What if she was so far gone from reality there was no pulling her back? Bellamy was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a loud ragged scream. He turns to Murphy to see him wincing. It was Clarke. He looks to the floor and tries to ignore the screams that follow. Only 5 more minutes, 5 more minutes until her screaming would cease and McCreary would leave to clean the latrines.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When McCreary finally left, Bellamy felt like he wanted to kill him right there. He slowly pulled out his gun, and aimed it at the back of McCreary’s head. Murphy notices and pushes Bellamy’s gun away before he can shoot. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” He whispers harshly and Bellamy turns to him. “This guy has been <em>torturing </em>Clarke for the past two weeks! And I can kill him right here!” He insists and Murphy shakes his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bellamy I know you want revenge. Trust me, I do almost as much as you do. But this is not the way!” He says in a hushed tone. Bellamy shakes his head and lifts his gun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, this is the way. He’ll die right here and now” he insists and Murphy groans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dude, I really didn’t want to play this card but you gave me no choice. Is this what Clarke would want?” He says and Bellamy turns to him with furrowed eyes. “Shut up Murphy!” He mutters. “No, listen to me. If you kill him right now, then our cover will be blown, they will send a new torturer for Clarke, and she will probably die. Is that what you want?” Murphy mutters, trying to push down the gun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, that’s not what I want! Murphy you know that’s not what I want” Bellamy says and Murphy nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, good. So just put the gun down and we’ll have a literal open door to get to Clarke, who we haven’t seen in over six years!” He says and Bellamy gives him a look and nods, slowly lowering the gun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jesus fuck, Thank you!” He mutters, and when McCreary is gone, they run over to the door. Bellamy looks into the small window and only see a head of blonde hair. Clarke is right there. He looks at the handle and, just as Raven said, he sees blood stained key pads. He feels sick just looking at it, knowing that’s Clarke’s blood.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll open it” Murphy offers and Bellamy nods in thanks. Murphy presses the keys and opens the door. Once again, as Raven said, the room definitely was Rated R. Blood splatters the floor and walls with Clarke huddled into the one clean corner. Oh… Clarke. Hunched in a small puddle of his own blood, he could see her drawing small symbols on the wall with her black blood. Anywhere you looked along her body some form of wound was covering her once beautiful sun kissed skin. He heard her mumbling something but he couldn’t hear what words she was actually saying. It just sounded like gibberish from where he stood.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jesus fuck” Murphy mutters, running his hands through his hair and pacing. Clarke didn’t seem to notice they were there yet. Bellamy steps forward hesitantly, tears threatening to well up, but he forces them down. No time for blurry eyesight now. He kneels beside Clarke’s hunched form and places a hand softly on her knee. Making both Murphy and Bellamy jump, Clarke screams and crawls away from them, only to whimper in pain and fail miserably. “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll talk. I’ll tell you everything” she cries and he runs a hand softly down her bruised and scar riddled face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke? It’s me, Bellamy. Bellamy Blake, remember?” He says soothingly and she cries out in pain when she tries to scoot away from his voice again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bellamy? No… Bell- He’s dead. Nice try though. Raven… Raven’s coming back for me” she mutters, voice slurred.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is… a lot of blood” Murphy mutters, looking around the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Isn’t it nice? Blood… always makes ni-nice paint. I would know, y-you know? Because of how many… how many people I’ve killed?” She laughs slightly, then winces and holds her hand to her stomach. Bellamy frowns and motions for Murphy to help pick her up. Murphy grabs her arm gently and her eyes go wide. “No! NO! I said I would talk! I said I would tell you everything! Everything!” She cries and Bellamy holds her face in his hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, look at me. It’s me Bellamy” he says softly, rubbing his thumb up and down her blood ridden face. She frowns and he can tell she is really trying to focus, it’s just hard for her. “Bellamy?” She asks, eyes going wide. He smirks, “Hey, Princess” he laughs and she cries with laughter this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I thought I killed you? Raven wasn’t lying? Everybody else is alive?” She asks him and Murphy frowns. “I’m right here sunshine” he scoffs and she turns to see him there.</p>
<p>“Oh, Murphy. You haven’t died yet I see” she murmurs and Murphy somehow finds it in him to laugh. Even out of her fucking mind Clarke still finds a way to burn him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yep, we cockroaches gotta stay together. Which is why we have to get you out of here. One person isn’t a team. It’s just a really lonely tennis game” he says and she hums a response, too exhausted to open her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are going to get you out of here. Just… hold on” Bellamy whispers and Clarke shrugs, but lets out a gasp of pain when Bellamy and Murphy try to lift her up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I never played tennis. Is it fun?” She mumbles to Murphy quietly when they finally get her up. Murphy smirks. “I wouldn’t know” he says and she frowns, taking another aching step.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why didn’t you go crazy like I am when you were tortured?” Clarke asks and grits her teeth to hide a scream when they take on a corner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I couldn’t do it. I-… I couldn’t save her, I’ll never find her again. I’m… I’m alone again” she mutters as they walk. She doesn’t stop saying it until they run into Echo. Clarke tries to scream at the sight of someone she doesn’t immediately recognize, but Murphy throws his hands over her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really Murphy?” Bellamy grumbles and Murphy rolls his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t be jealous, Bellamy. You know she only has eyes for you” he teases.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jesus, what did they do to her? Try to microwave her brain?” Echo asks when she sees her and Murphy shrugs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You haven’t heard her lovely conversational skills yet. Really top notch” he teases and Clarke pulls a piece of his hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What the hell, Clarke?” He mutters and she shrugs. “You all have blood in your hair. And on your clothes. Right around the knives that killed you” she slurs, almost unconscious and he blinks in shock.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See, conversation skill 101, don’t talk about how you see knives in people” he teases and now it’s Bellamy’s turn to hit him. “Leave her alone Murphy” he mutters and they continue going step by step.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they see Monty next, he just nods to them, but Clarke gets a scream out. “What do you see now, Crazy Clarke?” Murphy asks and almost falls when Clarke can’t hold herself up anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“His… His face! It’s burnt and broken” She mutters, pointing to Monty and he makes a sour face. “Don’t sweat it too much, Monty. Crazy Clarke over here gave me a sword in the stomach” Murphy says and Clarke raises her head slightly, “Heart” she corrects him and he nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right, heart, sorry”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Monty smirks and his expression softens when he lays eyes on Clarke. “How am I surprised she made it out alive? This is Clarke we’re dealing with” he says and Clarke frowns, “Tell her I’m s-sorry” she whispers before she drops dead weight.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Woah, Hey, Clarke stay with me” Bellamy says, catching her in his arms. He tries tapping the side of her face gently, but no response.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We need to hurry” Murphy says and they nod. Running, Bellamy fast walking, they hurry to the door and meet Harper. “Is… Is that her?” She asks, pointing to the unconscious girl in Bellamy’s arms. He nods and they leave the door. Bellamy lets out a breath. Home free.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sitting outside anxiously waiting, Raven sits fiddling with her fingers and watching the sun set. They should be here any second. Almost by reading her thoughts, they come out of the door with Clarke in Bellamy’s arms. She jumps up with Emori and they both run to his side. “When did she pass out?” She asks quickly, helping switch her to Murphy’s arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Only a couple of minutes ago” Bellamy informs her and she curses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What? Is that bad?” He asks, immediately anxious. She shakes her head and waves him off. “No, go get the rover. Hurry” she says and Bellamy nods, leaving Murphy and Raven alone with a knocked out Clarke Griffin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They start walking and Murphy readjusts the figure in his arms to an easier holding position. “Is it weird it’s hard for me to <em>look </em>at her and believe she is alive even though she is right there?” He asks as they walk. Raven shakes her head and looks at Clarke’s pale form. “No, it’s not crazy at all” she says, pulling off her jacket to place it on top of Clarke’s shivering body.</p>
<p><br/>“Will she go back to normal? I mean I saw how she was when she was awake. Knowing how she used to be… it was terrifying.” He mutters, ducking under a branch. Raven lets out a heavy breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know. We have to hope she does. That’s not what’s occupying my brain right now though. She kept saying <em>she, </em>like saying <em>she had to get back to her </em>or <em>she lost her</em>. Who would she be talking about?” She asks and Murphy glances down at Clarke, who has yet to wake up. “I don’t know. Girlfriend? Ooh… daughter?” He says and Raven rolls her eyes, slapping Murphy’s arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m just saying, maybe she got tired of waiting around for Bellamy’s slow ass and got herself some grounder d? Wouldn’t be the most surprising thing” he mutters and then gasps out loud in shock. “Roan! Oh, Clarke and Roan so slept together!” He laughs and Raven rolls her eyes, smirking anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No way. Roan and Clarke were like friends that had random dreams about one another but never acted on them because that would be too weird” she argues and he nods towards her in agreement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before they can get another word in, the rover drives up in front of them and Bellamy flies out of the front seat. “We’ll have to put her in the back. When we drive, keep your eyes peeled for a girl” she informs them and Bellamy raises an eyebrow in confusion but nods. He pulls open the back door and Raven sees Emori sitting in shotgun, and everyone else sitting in the seats in the back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Watch your legs” Raven says as she helps Bellamy and Murphy lay Clarke down in the back. “Wait, who’s this she we’re looking for?” Harper asks. Raven pretends not to see the bits of jealousy on Bellamy’s face when he hears this. Instead, she turns to them and tells them about what Clarke had been saying to her. “Yeah, she was saying she stuff about a <em>she </em>when we were taking her too” Murphy says, climbing into the rover and shutting the door tight. “All right, first stop. Shadow Valley”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they pull into the village, Raven is in amazement at what she sees. It was like the death wave had jumped the entire valley. “Help me get her out” Raven says and they pull her into Bellamy’s arms. “Has she been here for the entire six years?” Emori asks, shutting her door loudly behind her.</p>
<p><br/>Before she can get an answer, they hear a loud bang come from one of the houses and a child runs out of the house. “Clarke!” The girl shouts in excitement. When she stops and sees them all standing there, a tortured Clarke in their arms, a scream that will probably haunt them all forever escapes her lips. “No! Clarke!” She cries and runs to get her mother’s body out of their grasp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who are you?” Echo asks and the girl just shakes her head and tries to get Clarke away from them. “What did you do?” She sobbed, finally getting her out of Bellamy’s arms. Her hands fly wildly and touch every inch of the unconscious woman’s face. “Hey, she’s still alive. We didn’t do this to her, we saved her” Murphy says and the girl gets a good look at them. Her eyes go wide with realization.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re Bellamy, and Murphy, Raven, Emori, Harper and Monty, and Echo. You came!” She says and Murphy looks over to Bellamy to see visible confusion on his face. Also a deep feeling hidden in his eyes. <em>Jealousy? </em>Who was this girl? Murphy nudged Raven and whispered “Told yah” into her ear. Raven glares at him and steps towards the girl holding Clarke on the ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can fix her. I can, she- she taught me” the girl cries and Raven sits beside her. “Hey, are you Clarke’s daughter?” She asks softly and the child looks up at her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nods and shock runs through the group. Eyes turn to Bellamy, but quickly look away at his expression. “Yeah, she umm… she found me after Praimfaya and took care of me. I’m Madi. She’s all I’ve had for the past five years” Madi whispers and Raven nods, relieved she wouldn’t have to deal with <em>that </em>Bellamy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is there somewhere we can take her?” Emori asks and Madi nods, reluctantly letting Bellamy pick her up again. “Our house is up here, but we set up the church as a med tent” she says and points them in the direction.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once they get her situated, Madi refuses to leave her side. None of them really do. “I need to be here when she wakes up” she insisted and no one bothered trying to argue with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Clarke finally woke up, her eyes flew everywhere, confused as to where she was. When her eyes set on Madi, a relieved cry escapes her lips and she pulls her into her arms. Madi cries into her shoulder, and Clarke holds her tight, ignoring the pain that comes with it. “Are you really here? This- This isn’t the first time I’ve hallucinated this” Clarke whispers into her ear and Madi nods. “Yeah, I’m really here. You’re safe again” she laughs and Clarke sighs with relief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How did I get here?” She asks her and Madi turns to the door. Bellamy had just left to get some food from Monty who was fascinated with the many food sources they had acquired over the years. “Bellamy and your friends. They came and saved you. They said I was lucky I wasn’t there? That is was bad” Madi says nervously and Clarke nods slightly.</p>
<p><br/>“Madi, I’m glad you weren’t there. They were right, it was… bad” she paraphrases and Madi doesn’t seem to believe she was telling the whole truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s a nut-job? Murphy said you were a nut-job” she asks and Clarke rolls her eyes, running a painful hand through her hair. Definitely regretted that. “I just wasn’t in my best mind space” she says and Madi nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you think you can stand? I’m sure they would want to see you” she asks and Clarke nods. Madi helps her off the table they laid her on and has to hold her up quickly before she falls.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe walking isn’t that great of an idea” Clarke giggles and Madi gives her a look that Clarke luckily didn’t see. Clarke never giggled. Madi sits her on the table again and wipes a strand of sweat from her forehead. “Raven’s going to come for me. She promised” Clarke tells the girl and Madi nods. “Ok, Clarke. Don’t worry” she whispers, trying not to cry at her chosen mothers state.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she gets Clarke to go to sleep, she runs out of the church and into, of all people, Murphy’s arms. He grunts with surprise and looks at the child clinging to him. He looks to Emori for help and she just gives him a look. He sighs and nods, setting Madi on the ground. “I assume Clarke woke up?” He asks and she nods, wiping furiously at her eyes. He frowns when he realizes Emori disappeared.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t worry kid, she’s going to be ok. She may seem a little out of it now, but she will get better” he promises and Madi looks back at the church turned medical hut. “I don’t know what to do now. She was always so strong I didn’t have to worry about her” she whispers and he nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s Clarke for you. But don’t sweat it, as long as we keep her healthy and safe, she’ll get back to herself. She wouldn’t leave you to fend for yourself”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And slowly, Murphy kept his promise. When the bruises started disappearing, she was able to walk a little better. She still jumped when someone walked by her without knowing and she still flinched when she heard a voice raised too high. But that would all get better as well. Raven made it her job to take Clarke down to the small lake she had found and keep her clean every other day. The two would lay out in the water and just sit and talk. Talk about anything. It was mostly Clarke that was bringing up stuff. Whatever her brain had her thinking she would express out loud, knowing Raven would want to know. When Raven would talk it was emotional at first, but then she started getting back into the flow of having just normal conversations with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Murphy made it his goal to be as annoying as possible, no surprise there. And Clarke made it <em>her</em> goal to shut him the hell up every time he gets too annoying. Raven watched Bellamy when the two were having these close interactions and wasn’t surprised either to see jealousy in his expression. One day, Clarke, Murphy, and Madi were looking at fireflies that had appeared in the large grass valley and Raven walked up to Bellamy who was watching them with a distasteful look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know, you could tell her how you feel. I can guarantee she’s not going to go running to Murphy, of all people” she says and he gives her a look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m serious. She’s getting better, everyone can see it. She doesn’t see us mutilated, she’s getting better with the spacing out, and she’s healing nicely. Just talk to her” she says and Bellamy shakes his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not that easy, Raven” he mutters, watching Madi show Clarke a firefly she managed to capture in her hands. She smirks when Murphy tried to get it out of her hands and Clarke pushed him to the ground. Bellamy didn’t look very pleased though.</p>
<p><br/>“It is that easy, Bellamy. Everyone knows you love her and everyone knows she loves you. I was talking to her the other day when we were drying up from dishes and she said she thinks you’re mad at her”. Bellamy turns to her with a knowing look, but guilt in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not mad at her. You know that”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, but she doesn’t. How could she? You’ve been practically ignoring her ever since we got her here” Raven argues and Bellamy turns his focus back to the trio in the grass that were unaware that everyone was watching them.</p>
<p><br/>“We just got her out of there a week ago. I can’t, not yet” he says and Raven shrugs. “Fine, but don’t expect her to just be waiting around for you” she mutters and runs over to the trio, aware of Bellamy’s glare burning into the back of her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, what are we doing?” She asks them, watching them swinging Madi over the long grass by her arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are trying to attract more fireflies. But I really think Madi just wants to feel taller” Murphy says and Madi scoffs. “Not true. If you make a lot of movement then they will come flying everywhere” she argues and Clarke smirks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right or wrong, we’re stopping now. My arms are hurting” she says and lets go of Madi. She lets out a pout face and Clarke pats the top of her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe Murphy will swing you singlehandedly” she suggests and Murphy glares at her as Madi turns to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Griffin, you heartless bitch” he mocks and she smirks as Madi gasps loudly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s dishes for a day Murphy” she says and Clarke laughs as Murphy rolls his eyes and walks away grumbling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, Madi. I’m sure Monty and Harper have figured out something for dinner. Lord knows they are more culinarily creative then I am” she mutters and Madi smiles to her, running in the direction of the village.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You raised her well, Clarke” Raven says and Clarke shrugs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t know sometimes. She’s an amazing kid, but I’m not sure <em>I </em>did most of that” she says, eyes following Madi’s retreating form.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Trust me, it was all you”. Clarke smiles gratefully and walks back to the village for dinner.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What took you so long?” Monty asks when they get to the table. Clarke shrugs and takes a plate of fish and fruit. “We were just talking” Raven supplies. They eat in a comfortable silence, Madi occasionally telling them about some random fact or a story about something that happened while they were gone. Raven would have to occasionally nudge Clarke when she seemed to be spacing out again and Clarke nods to her gratefully when she doesn’t bring it up to the group.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, what do we do about the bunker?” Echo asks, interrupting the peace and Bellamy frowns at her words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can’t go to the Eligius for help” he insists. Emori turns to him, “No offense to Clarke, but we can’t open that on our own. We need their help” she says and turns to Clarke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Clarke raises her hands in agreement, “No offense taken. I tried for weeks before giving up” she says and turns to Bellamy, “We need their help, there’s no other way around it” she says and he scoffs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, they almost killed you! You nearly went crazy in their hands” He argues loudly and she flinches almost unnoticeably, but Raven and Murphy see it. They share a look and Raven nods. “Bellamy, she’s right. We can’t do it without their skills, case closed” she speaks up and pulls Clarke up by her arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come on, we can go find something to do before Madi needs to go to bed” she says and Clarke nods hesitantly, clearly wanting to space out again. She gestures for Madi to follow and she follows happily. Murphy follows after them and Bellamy tries not to feel the hard blow in his chest when he wraps a lazy arm over Raven and Clarke’s shoulders and he whispers something in Clarke’s ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later that night, when everyone is in their own rooms, Clarke sits up on the floor by her bed, unable to sleep. She holds her knees to her chest, and stares at the ground as if it offended her. She was afraid of this the second she knew Bellamy saw her. He was stubborn and wouldn’t want to ask for the Eligius’ help if it was the last option in the world. Now thinking of the Eligius, she shudders and closes her eyes tight. <em>Don’t think of that. It will only make it worse. </em>But she couldn’t help it now.</p>
<p><br/>Everything that had happened to her came back all at once. She bites back a cry and runs a rough hand through her hair and tries to focus on anything else. Anything but how much they hurt her and how lost it made her. She only had Madi being safe to cling to and even after a few days, she couldn’t even hold onto that. She wipes at her eyes furiously and paces the room. “Go away. Get out of my head!” She mutters and flinches as a painfully hot memory comes to mind. She groans and looks around the room frantically, for anything to get rid of the pain that won’t seem to leave her alone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Seeing the pictures hanging on her walls, she looks at one and sees the rocket shooting into the sky, leaving her behind. Looking at all these pictures, all she sees are memories she doesn’t want to relive. Tearing down picture after picture, she tears them into pieces and cries, sitting in her pile of memories.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A knock comes on the door and she tries to clear her throat and wipe at her tears. “Come in” she says and Bellamy, of all people, walks in. “Hey, what do you need?” She asks and he raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I heard crying and screaming. Are you okay?” He asks and looks at the tear stains on her cheeks.</p>
<p><br/>“Yeah, I’m fine” she whispers and he shakes his head, eyeing the ripped up drawings and table thrown carelessly to the ground.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Clarke, you’re not fine” he says and pulls her into a hug. She cries into his shoulder and holds him tight. “I don’t know what to do. I-… I want to forget everything” she mutters and he lets out a breath.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Forgetting doesn’t do anything for you. It’s just about not forgetting the good too” he says and she laughs slightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Easier said than done”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fair, but we’ll get there” he promises and she nods, pulling away from him. He looks her up and down and eyes the black stains on her body. “Where did those come from?” He asks and she frowns and looks at them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, acid rain. I couldn’t get to the rover in time to avoid it and got hit. I tried cleaning it, but it doesn’t go away” she says and he shrugs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Its pretty badass” he says and she smirks, going to pick up the ripped up paper. “I guess you could put it that way”.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bellamy watches her throw away the trash and thinks back to what Raven had said. <em>Don’t expect her to just be waiting around for you, </em>she had said. Bellamy shakes his hands out nervously as Clarke turns to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are <em>you </em>ok?” She asks, walking up to him. He shrugs and looks at her. “I don’t want you to get hurt again” he says and she gives him a knowing look.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bellamy, I can’t promise I will be fine. But if it means we get to see our family again, then it’s something I have to do” she says and he nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ok, just know…” he starts but Clarke interrupts him by placing her lips softly on his. She pulls away quickly and rolls her eyes at his shocked expression.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please, I know you weren’t going to do it” she mutters sarcastically and he rolls his eyes. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him. “I was <em>going </em>to say, just know I won’t let them anywhere near you” he murmurs and she smirks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t expect anything less” she whispers and this time, he pulls her lips to his own. He can feel her smile against his lips and knows he’s smiling as well. “Do you know how pissed Raven and Murphy are going to be that they didn’t see this?” She asks and he shushes her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I really don’t want to talk about that right now” he mutters and she nods.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are going to Eligius tomorrow and that is that” she says and he smirks. “So bossy” he teases and she rolls her eyes, pulling him back to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>- - -</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Raven went to wake Clarke up that morning, she wasn’t surprised to find the two curled up together on her bed. She woke them up by slamming a pillow into Bellamy’s head. Clarke smiled, but Bellamy was glaring at her for both the pillow and waking her up. Raven pulled Clarke out of the bed and out of the room before anyone could say anything else and took her to the table they set up in the middle of the village.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So I see someone had a good night” Murphy says and with one look, Clarke can tell they all know. She just rolls her eyes and takes a plate from Madi who made a mix of berries, eggs and bacon. She sits beside Raven and later, Bellamy takes the space beside Clarke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, who wants to address the elephant in the room?” Murphy asks and Clarke kicks him under the table. He winces and raises a hand in apology. “I meant the Eligius but I mean if you want to address <em>that </em>elephant then by all means go ahead” he says, pointing between Bellamy and Clarke.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We are going today. I’m taking Madi with me to Polis while you go with them to Eligius so they can get their equipment” Clarke says and Bellamy turns to her.</p>
<p><br/>“What? You’re not going by yourself” he argues and she raises an eyebrow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Please, I wouldn’t be able to go out by myself if I wanted to. I’ll probably go psycho again and Madi would have to knock me out. I’m taking Bellamy and Raven” she says and Raven nudges Clarke gratefully. Not only did Raven know how to calm Clarke down, but she wouldn’t be much good with her leg. That was why Clarke chose Raven, she chose Bellamy because she knew he would go with her anyway.</p>
<p>“Ok then, let’s go get our family back”.</p>
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